About what I said before...well, those that say when you're not looking it finds you...dammit.
Things are most certainly looking up. Hopefully will only have to continue living at the firehouse for a few more months. It's driving me nuts though...not getting any sleep, falling asleep in class, calls at 3 am...I got nine hours of sleep when I stayed at my parents' house last week. It was amazing. Got a better day's sleep this past Sunday though, after a good breakfast.
To whomever said "persistence pays off"...well...you were right. But it's not just about being persistent; it's the things you say and do to make me smile. I really wasn't looking for a relationship...just wanted to date, have fun, whatever...but things happen, ideas change, and even though I thought I wasn't ready, everything seems so right...
And I thought I could pull off this whole bitter bitch thing. Amazing how things can change in a week. I don't know how I could possibly have two Sundays in a row be so...awesome. Being proven wrong doesn't happen often...more details to come later.
To the person who said "I'm sorry things aren't working out for you"...this "FUCK YOU" is for you. I found someone better...who treats me like a queen (even though I don't need it), is very observant, and will do anything to make me smile. I'm happier now than I've been...well...it's been a long time coming.
G'night all.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Around the bend...
Well the first couple of weeks of the year are off to a great start. So far, two of those toxic people are gone out of my life. The unfortunate thing is that one other person came back into my life and that ended...badly. Mostly because I pushed him away, thanks to people and their inability to keep their mouths shut. There is an unwritten rule in the fire service: it is impossible for a male and a female to be friends (have a platonic relationship) if the female is single. I have also learned that being a single female in the fire department sucks. Apparently if you're unattached, you're sleeping with everybody. Awesome. So if I swear off dating and stave off the advances of men, I'll be considered a lesbian. It's a lose-lose situation.
Installation...well, I must say I looked amazing. Turned out to backfire on me, because someone mentioned later that my problem is that I think everybody wants me. That's not the case. Those of you who knew me several years ago...did I ever think this? Did I ever even consider myself to be attractive? HELL NO. I've made a few changes and you know what? I got dressed up in the BEST dress I have ever bought, had hair and makeup professionally done, and I looked perfect. It was totally worth being fashionably late, because I looked good and that made me feel good, too.
My buddy Thejus said several years ago that I had a big problem. He said my problem is that I am both attractive and intelligent. When a guy sees a girl who is attractive, he gets interested. When she opens her mouth and says something intelligent, thoughtful...he gets stunned. Speechless, stumbling over words...whatever happened to that? I miss that. Is it because I have the confidence now I never had before? Either way, I'm done with it. I know I've pissed off a couple of people by doing this, but oh well. What was it that I said in my last post? Oh yeah, not mincing words, year of the bitch...deal with it.
I'm not looking for a relationship right now. As much as it might benefit me and reducing the talk around the firehouse, I'm not getting into something and getting hurt again...or worse, hurting someone else. Dating? Maybe. When this semester starts, I won't have time for anyone else, let alone myself. I'm the crazy person who is taking 11 credits (3 MFRI), working, babysitting, and doing the firehouse stuff. I'm all for hanging out and having a good time, but I don't have time for disappointment, pain, and most importantly, BULLSHIT.
Now I have to say something to someone...I know you read this because you told me the other night you did. When the seasons change our lives may as well. If you're willing to be there for me as a friend right now, I will do the same for you. The way things are right now...it's a huge mess. If you're patient, so am I. I really appreciate you being there for me when I needed a friend, when I needed a hug, a shoulder to cry on. I never meant to make anything harder for you or to hurt you in any way. You are an amazing person with a bright future ahead of you, and I respect you more than most of the people in my life right now. If you have anything to say, you know where to find me.
Now off to sleep. Appreciate the little things in life...especially when it is a good night's rest.
Installation...well, I must say I looked amazing. Turned out to backfire on me, because someone mentioned later that my problem is that I think everybody wants me. That's not the case. Those of you who knew me several years ago...did I ever think this? Did I ever even consider myself to be attractive? HELL NO. I've made a few changes and you know what? I got dressed up in the BEST dress I have ever bought, had hair and makeup professionally done, and I looked perfect. It was totally worth being fashionably late, because I looked good and that made me feel good, too.
My buddy Thejus said several years ago that I had a big problem. He said my problem is that I am both attractive and intelligent. When a guy sees a girl who is attractive, he gets interested. When she opens her mouth and says something intelligent, thoughtful...he gets stunned. Speechless, stumbling over words...whatever happened to that? I miss that. Is it because I have the confidence now I never had before? Either way, I'm done with it. I know I've pissed off a couple of people by doing this, but oh well. What was it that I said in my last post? Oh yeah, not mincing words, year of the bitch...deal with it.
I'm not looking for a relationship right now. As much as it might benefit me and reducing the talk around the firehouse, I'm not getting into something and getting hurt again...or worse, hurting someone else. Dating? Maybe. When this semester starts, I won't have time for anyone else, let alone myself. I'm the crazy person who is taking 11 credits (3 MFRI), working, babysitting, and doing the firehouse stuff. I'm all for hanging out and having a good time, but I don't have time for disappointment, pain, and most importantly, BULLSHIT.
Now I have to say something to someone...I know you read this because you told me the other night you did. When the seasons change our lives may as well. If you're willing to be there for me as a friend right now, I will do the same for you. The way things are right now...it's a huge mess. If you're patient, so am I. I really appreciate you being there for me when I needed a friend, when I needed a hug, a shoulder to cry on. I never meant to make anything harder for you or to hurt you in any way. You are an amazing person with a bright future ahead of you, and I respect you more than most of the people in my life right now. If you have anything to say, you know where to find me.
Now off to sleep. Appreciate the little things in life...especially when it is a good night's rest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)