Just because my birthday is tomorrow, I figured it's a good time to reflect on (some) of the events over the past year.
I've made it through one year of paramedic school...Hooray!! Only one more year to go. I've had quite a few excellent experiences, seen things some experienced medics haven't, and gotten to do some pretty wicked skills. I'm loving every minute of it.
Not much else has changed. I have grown quite a bit as a person, and taken some huge steps in my life...damn I feel like an adult lol.
I picked up a bad habit again...though I'm dropping it after All Good. I've got motivation...
I became single again...twice. Not that it's a bad thing...to quote someone "when you least expect it in the most random places"...yes, random indeed. To those that want to call me a hypocrite...bite me. If anything, people should be happy for me (I suppose that's the princess in me coming out, huh?). I have learned not to put all my eggs in one basket. I am somewhat pessimistic, but really, who can blame me?
And as for the asshole...I gotta love being greeted by "Is there some reason why you're not answering your phone?" EXCUSE ME?!?!? Who the fuck do you think you are?? I don't have to answer to you anymore dickhead. You can't check up on me, go through my phone, track everything I do anymore. I have nothing to say to you. Give me back my goddamn keys and stay out of my life.
Yes, I have met someone. Am I betting it all? Hell no, so far I've got a new friend who I enjoy spending time with and, strangely enough, have a lot in common with. I gotta lay out some rationale here though...I have no expectations. Are there things I would like to happen? Hell yes. My problem is (sorry to a certain someone out there) that every time I've expected a guy to do something, I've been disappointed (with the exception of this past Monday...I've had that idea for like 10 years and it finally happened :D). I would love to go along with having expectations and having them met...it's just so damn hard for me. The last thing I want is to feel that again. I know there are many disappointments in life, it's just, well, I feel like it's all I've had.
As I'm writing this, I have been thinking. I've got a great idea, and hopefully it will pay off. I think it's for the best...I'm wiping the slate clean. I have been hurt and let down, but I cannot and WILL NOT let that affect any new adventure I may be getting myself into. If you want me to have expectations, I will have expectations. I'm not going to set the bar high...I can't hold anyone to the high standards I have just yet. I want to start from scratch, see how things go. I am still in disbelief as to how this all came about, but whatever...I'm going with it. Nothing but good things thus far.
And by the way, I did mean what I said about my birthday. My parents are taking me out to dinner, and I expect nothing else on my birthday. I'm not officially in a relationship (unless I missed the memo...entirely possible with my ADHD and hectic schedule), therefore hugs and kisses and an easy night at work is all I'm hoping for.
All Good in t-minus 4 days...thank God Sean Myers is going, otherwise I'd end up smoking a whole carton over there.
Damn, what a year it's been. In two I'll be thirty...hahahaha that's going to be awesome. I think, however, that it will be the deciding year for me. More on that later.
In closing, I gotta say this...I miss you Sean. Happy birthday big brother. Just five years ago tomorrow you bought me a beer, met some of my closest friends, and we celebrated together for the last time. It still hurts kids...he was a role model for me. I looked up to him. He worked hard, worked for everything he had, and made his way up through the company from the bottom. The training center at the US headquarters of his company is dedicated to him. He was an amazing man, a wonderful father, and the best big brother a girl could ask for...Rest in Peace, Sean...
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