Wherever You'll Be

I know, before I get harassed about how long it's been since I posted anything, let me explain.  It's nice and short...paramedic school.  Enough said.

I know in my last post, I was happy in my new relationship.  If you're reading this, then you know all that is over.  Did I see it coming?  Hell no.  I know people are wondering what happened, so here it is.

He asked to see me before I went to one of the many things I had to do.  It wasn't uncommon for us to go a week without getting to see each other or spend time together.  I walked in, he said we needed to talk, then dumped me.  Yes I was in shock, but what else was I supposed to do?  I learned a long time ago not to argue with him.  There's no sense in it.  I just listened to the excuses he made, said I'd come when he wasn't home to grab my stuff, and left. 

What were his reasons you ask?  Well, first off, apparently I made some smart ass remarks.  Me? A smart ass?  Never.  Also, I want nice things throughout my life and he doesn't think he will be able to give them to me.  He's perfectly happy living a simple life.  If I had been given a chance, I would have reiterated something I had told him early on...if I want nice things, I can get them for myself.  My mother raised me to rely on myself and no one else.  I do not need a man to provide for me.  And I won't apologize for that.
In the end, he said once the newness of the relationship wore off, he realized we didn't have as much in common as he initially thought so why drag it out, let's just end it now. 
The End.

It's amazing, when I think about it...all those nights he held me in his arms, telling me that as long as I was there I was safe, had nothing to worry about...the nights he put our song on in the bar and picked me up off the stool to dance with me...all over now.  I guess there's something I missed?  I was a total wreck...not going to lie about that.  Nothing I can do about it, so I just have to move on.  I actually laughed the next day when I realized that it was the first time I was dumped for being a smart ass...from what I heard he actually called me a "princess."  If I'm a princess, then where is my goddamn tiara?  Huh?  You ever seen me with one?  Oh yeah, I forgot...it's locked up in the Forbes Castle with the rest of the crown jewels.

Aside from that bullshit, in relation to my previous posts...I successfully removed all of the negative people from my life within the first four months of this year.  Amazingly enough.  Jon and I are friends again (he actually said it sounded like I was dumped by Will for having standards, not for being a smart ass or princess).  I've had a blast doing my clinicals...lots of fun with my preceptors.  One year of paramedic school down, one to go.

Since all this happened, I'm going to put this out there:  I want to stay single.  I'm going to finish paramedic school.  That is my top priority.  If someone comes along when I'm done, that's great.  I need to finish my education first.  Get my career going.  Oh yeah...and raise my standards.  :)
So this means...no hitting me up on facebook, no blowing my phone up with text messages...you want to hang out?  Sure.  Go to the bar?  No problem.  Date?  Nope.  I need "me" time.  I need some time to myself, to get my career going. 

I must say I have grown up a lot...I'm getting older, wiser...now more cautious.

Time to go...but I will say this in closing...as much as I like to take care of myself, to do things on my own, and as much as I prefer not to have it...I must say it was pretty nice to have a knight in shining armor when I really needed it last week.  It was something unexpected...but it was nice.  Thank you again for being there for me, listening, and reassuring me that things would turn around.  To all my friends who were there for me...thank you.  I appreciate everything you said and did, and the rounds at the bar.  :)

Til next time...