Ok...so apparently the asshole didn't read the last blog. After reviewing the status of things, these are the results:
-Between 12/1/11 and 12/14/11, he texted me 105 times. And we broke up in October.
-He told me he broke up with his new girlfriend because she was trying to tell him who he could and couldn't be friends with. Turns out she dumped him because he wasn't over me. Whoops.
-Found out he would drive past my house while working, just to see if I was home when I said I was working (believe it or not, I was actually working). Creepy.
-I blocked his number, so he proceeded to email me AND inbox me on FB to ask why I blocked his number.
-After talking to some friends and weighing my options, I decided to respond to his email with this:
"We are not friends. We have no reason to keep in touch. You text me to excess. Do not contact me at all. Do not text me, do not email me, do not inbox me on facebook. We stopped dating two months ago. You have no reason to contact me or see me. If you continue to do such after I have clearly asked you not to, I will pursue further action. Do not respond to this email."
I think I got my point across. :) He now calls me "a fucking bitch" and says I "treated him like shit."
Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. Coming from a psychopath that my brother referred to as Norman Bates (he's now been downgraded to "anal bead," or "AB" for short)...thanks. :) I've never felt better.
Chris, if you do actually read this...just know, if you ever do decide to contact me again, I will drop whatever I am doing and make that trip to the Baltimore County Commissioner. I will have the emails, the messages, and statements from people that you drove past my house and that they saw whatever vehicle you were in at the time parked outside the house at all hours. I don't care. Guess what? You don't run my life anymore. I never should have let you get that power over me. Seriously??? You made me back into a corner and cower...I don't do that. I'm fucking Stephanie Forbes...the same chick that grabbed a guy almost a foot taller than me who was tripping and trying to get into our tent at the rave by the shirt and pushed him around. Yeah. I don't do that. You know what he needs? A trophy wife. Someone who will do his cooking and cleaning, have dinner ready for him when he comes home from work, does exactly as he says, and has no brain. Ugh...
This is it, the last I ever write of you. I've closed that chapter of my life, and believe me I will never bow to anyone again or do their bidding. I'm not that kind of chick.
And God forbid you decide you want to spread any of my business or drag my name through the mud...you will regret ever coming to Maryland...believe me.
Thank you Jimmy V for my title :)
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
A notice...
So I was so excited two days ago when I thought that guy I had dated was finally leaving me alone. We're not friends on FB anymore, so Chris, if you are reading this...this is for you:
-MY dad made it out of surgery well. Thanks for asking.
-I passed my pharm exam.
-Congrats on passing rescue tech.
-No we cannot ride soon. We are not going to ride anytime...ever...again. Sure, I know you had a lot of fun riding with me and consider me a great EMT but really...with how you speak of other providers (whether it is true or not)...you don't have respect for most of the people you work with.
I'm going out and having fun. I'm spending time with my friends. I don't really go to the bar, well, let's just give credit to conditioning...you get punished every time you go to the bar with a friend, you don't want to go to the bar anymore. I know you said you ended it with your new girlfriend because she was trying to control who you were friends with...wait, what? Does that sound familiar? A significant other making their partner choose between them and their friends? Obviously you missed that one. I cannot count the number of times you made me choose between you and my friends. The majority of the time I was a fool and chose you. And those times I actually went and hung out with my friends? Do you remember the night I went to the bar with my friend, my phone was dead from you texting me all day, and you drove past my house, the bar, the firehouse and then to my house again looking for me? And when you came in, how you were so furious with me you were shaking? I went out for a few hours, had a couple of drinks and caught up with my friend, and because you could not reach me you tried to hunt me down then exploded. How about the time when I didn't text you when I left work, when I got to the bar, when I left, when I got home and then proceeded to yell at me on the phone for three hours?? Do you remember that?
I know you have said that you made a lot of mistakes with our relationship. My biggest mistake? Not walking away the first time you yelled at me. You have no idea how broken, beaten down, destroyed I felt after dating you...but now I realize how much stronger of a person I am because of it. I'm not taking any bullshit. Not from anyone else, and certainly not from you. I know you are "turning over a new leaf" and trying to be nice now, but I want no part of it. I wish you luck, honestly, from the bottom of my heart, with your future endeavors. I know you said I have destroyed you...think whatever you want to make yourself feel better and have people take pity on you.
Leave me alone. I have not moved on to another relationship, but I have moved on from you. I should have a long time ago, but after two failed relationships in a year I thought I deserved it all. I didn't deserve a single minute of it. As you said..."Think Steph. After three relationships ending in a year, did you ever think that it wasn't the other person that was the problem...that maybe it was you?" Yeah, I did stop and think. I thought long and hard about it, and yes, I was the problem. I sat there and took bullshit from you. I had bigger dreams than Flounder did. And I didn't appreciate Jon. I know what I did. I know what my problems were. I am conscious and aware of all of my mistakes, and I WILL NOT repeat them. I am a different person now. That person...doesn't exist anymore.
In no way do I want to make him seem like a bad person...I'm simply telling the truth about what transpired. That chapter of my life is over. The same thing with the others...I have closed the book on them, and I have moved on. Honestly, I haven't been this happy in a long time. I know the person I am, and I am quite proud of the person I have become. I like me. Like I said, I'm not changing a thing about myself. Sure, I'm making healthier choices as far as foods and friends go, but really...I am me. And yes, I am pretty awesome :)
Gripes, bitches, complaints...take them elsewhere. Compliments...welcome :)
-MY dad made it out of surgery well. Thanks for asking.
-I passed my pharm exam.
-Congrats on passing rescue tech.
-No we cannot ride soon. We are not going to ride anytime...ever...again. Sure, I know you had a lot of fun riding with me and consider me a great EMT but really...with how you speak of other providers (whether it is true or not)...you don't have respect for most of the people you work with.
I'm going out and having fun. I'm spending time with my friends. I don't really go to the bar, well, let's just give credit to conditioning...you get punished every time you go to the bar with a friend, you don't want to go to the bar anymore. I know you said you ended it with your new girlfriend because she was trying to control who you were friends with...wait, what? Does that sound familiar? A significant other making their partner choose between them and their friends? Obviously you missed that one. I cannot count the number of times you made me choose between you and my friends. The majority of the time I was a fool and chose you. And those times I actually went and hung out with my friends? Do you remember the night I went to the bar with my friend, my phone was dead from you texting me all day, and you drove past my house, the bar, the firehouse and then to my house again looking for me? And when you came in, how you were so furious with me you were shaking? I went out for a few hours, had a couple of drinks and caught up with my friend, and because you could not reach me you tried to hunt me down then exploded. How about the time when I didn't text you when I left work, when I got to the bar, when I left, when I got home and then proceeded to yell at me on the phone for three hours?? Do you remember that?
I know you have said that you made a lot of mistakes with our relationship. My biggest mistake? Not walking away the first time you yelled at me. You have no idea how broken, beaten down, destroyed I felt after dating you...but now I realize how much stronger of a person I am because of it. I'm not taking any bullshit. Not from anyone else, and certainly not from you. I know you are "turning over a new leaf" and trying to be nice now, but I want no part of it. I wish you luck, honestly, from the bottom of my heart, with your future endeavors. I know you said I have destroyed you...think whatever you want to make yourself feel better and have people take pity on you.
Leave me alone. I have not moved on to another relationship, but I have moved on from you. I should have a long time ago, but after two failed relationships in a year I thought I deserved it all. I didn't deserve a single minute of it. As you said..."Think Steph. After three relationships ending in a year, did you ever think that it wasn't the other person that was the problem...that maybe it was you?" Yeah, I did stop and think. I thought long and hard about it, and yes, I was the problem. I sat there and took bullshit from you. I had bigger dreams than Flounder did. And I didn't appreciate Jon. I know what I did. I know what my problems were. I am conscious and aware of all of my mistakes, and I WILL NOT repeat them. I am a different person now. That person...doesn't exist anymore.
In no way do I want to make him seem like a bad person...I'm simply telling the truth about what transpired. That chapter of my life is over. The same thing with the others...I have closed the book on them, and I have moved on. Honestly, I haven't been this happy in a long time. I know the person I am, and I am quite proud of the person I have become. I like me. Like I said, I'm not changing a thing about myself. Sure, I'm making healthier choices as far as foods and friends go, but really...I am me. And yes, I am pretty awesome :)
Gripes, bitches, complaints...take them elsewhere. Compliments...welcome :)
Monday, December 5, 2011
Winning
So my ex used to say (all the time) that he was "winning like Charlie Sheen" or "winning before Charlie Sheen knew what it was"...ugh.
So bloody annoying. If only...nevermind :)
So here's the winning part. He finally is leaving me alone. Rock on bitches, I'm free!!!
I love it. I seriously have not felt this good in...well, forever.
Aside from that mess, I have lost a good friend...not by my doing, but it's his choice. If he ever decides he wants to man up and be friends again, he knows where to find me.
I've hung out with a few new people over the last week. All awesome in their own regard. It's nice...shows me that there are still good people out there, and ones that can actually respect a female and not be after one thing and one thing only. I've had such a great time with my new friends, and haven't smiled this much in so long.
Honestly, at the end of last week, it was like my world was crashing again for like the millionth time this year. What happens when your world ends up in flames? The Phoenix rises from the ashes. Here I am, and I'm not going anywhere.
Next on the agenda? Continuing to make more time for myself. Sticking to my 90 day challenge, getting to the gym more often, starting to take walks around the neighborhood. More "me" time, more time at home with the family. More time for friends...and that's one thing...I have been a terrible friend!! I have lost touch with so many of my friends, and I haven't been there when they needed me. Well that changes now. I know in a relationship you are supposed to put your significant other first, but when they dominate all of your time and you cannot keep in touch or hang out with your friends, this becomes a problem.
So that's it...I have these white boards (and dry erase calendars) next to my mirror so I can keep track of my hectic life. On one of these boards, I have written "putting yourself first is never being selfish" and "if you don't take care of yourself, who will?" After I was called "the most selfish person" someone had ever met, I stopped doing things for myself and making my life the priority...and we see where that got me.
With my new found freedom? Well, hectic week aside, Saturday I'm seeing a friend I haven't hung out with since July. We might even go dancing...love it! Sunday...birthday party for one of my kids (babysitting, not really spawn), then who knows what Sunday night. Weekend after? Work Friday, off Saturday and Sunday, looking for things to do (though if nothing is going on here, I may be home that weekend). It's nice to plan things...haha, as they come :)
Feeling so much better than I have in a long, long time. I'm not going to generate any expectations...I'm just truly enjoying the time I get to spend with people and taking each day as it comes.
And though I may be doing the 90 day challenge, I'm not considering that a diet (I was asked today if I'm on a diet...I'm just being more sensible about a lot of things). After thinking about it, though, I am on a diet. A no-bullshit diet.
G'night folks.
So bloody annoying. If only...nevermind :)
So here's the winning part. He finally is leaving me alone. Rock on bitches, I'm free!!!
I love it. I seriously have not felt this good in...well, forever.
Aside from that mess, I have lost a good friend...not by my doing, but it's his choice. If he ever decides he wants to man up and be friends again, he knows where to find me.
I've hung out with a few new people over the last week. All awesome in their own regard. It's nice...shows me that there are still good people out there, and ones that can actually respect a female and not be after one thing and one thing only. I've had such a great time with my new friends, and haven't smiled this much in so long.
Honestly, at the end of last week, it was like my world was crashing again for like the millionth time this year. What happens when your world ends up in flames? The Phoenix rises from the ashes. Here I am, and I'm not going anywhere.
Next on the agenda? Continuing to make more time for myself. Sticking to my 90 day challenge, getting to the gym more often, starting to take walks around the neighborhood. More "me" time, more time at home with the family. More time for friends...and that's one thing...I have been a terrible friend!! I have lost touch with so many of my friends, and I haven't been there when they needed me. Well that changes now. I know in a relationship you are supposed to put your significant other first, but when they dominate all of your time and you cannot keep in touch or hang out with your friends, this becomes a problem.
So that's it...I have these white boards (and dry erase calendars) next to my mirror so I can keep track of my hectic life. On one of these boards, I have written "putting yourself first is never being selfish" and "if you don't take care of yourself, who will?" After I was called "the most selfish person" someone had ever met, I stopped doing things for myself and making my life the priority...and we see where that got me.
With my new found freedom? Well, hectic week aside, Saturday I'm seeing a friend I haven't hung out with since July. We might even go dancing...love it! Sunday...birthday party for one of my kids (babysitting, not really spawn), then who knows what Sunday night. Weekend after? Work Friday, off Saturday and Sunday, looking for things to do (though if nothing is going on here, I may be home that weekend). It's nice to plan things...haha, as they come :)
Feeling so much better than I have in a long, long time. I'm not going to generate any expectations...I'm just truly enjoying the time I get to spend with people and taking each day as it comes.
And though I may be doing the 90 day challenge, I'm not considering that a diet (I was asked today if I'm on a diet...I'm just being more sensible about a lot of things). After thinking about it, though, I am on a diet. A no-bullshit diet.
G'night folks.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Just some thoughts...
So, as far as relationships go, I've had my fair share of it this past year. I've learned what I want, and what I don't want in a relationship. If I ever venture back into that territory, I have a clear idea of what I want. I have also learned my faults, and where I have gone wrong.
First off, where I went wrong. I know I did not communicate well enough, and I know I didn't appreciate enough of the little things. I expected too much...I know I expressed my disappointment with things plenty of times when I did not acknowledge the little things that were being done on a daily basis.
Some people say relationships are about "give and take." I think that is wrong. Relationships should be about giving and sharing. When you say that a relationship is about give and take, it puts the wrong idea in people's heads. It's not about what you give to/do for me and what I give to/do for you. It's about appreciating the other person on a daily basis. It's not about material things, giving gifts, etc...sure, those things are nice, but not necessary. It is not about what you give to me and what I take and vice versa. That's not a relationship. What is more important to me is being respected and treated like a human being.
I am not a doll. I am who I am, and that is not going to change. I like the person I am now. I think I'm pretty darn cool. I understand some guys like certain things, certain clothes...I'm really not a person to wear pink. I think I own three pink things...now, anyways. I'm more in favor of the neutral colors, and will occasionally wear red (for hockey, of course).
Not many guys mind the hockey thing. Yes, I am a Caps fan. I'm also a Skins fan (I know, I know). I don't really follow football much or baseball.
I have tattoos...nine of them, in fact. I want more. Yes, I have tattoos on my upper back and shoulders. No, I did not think of "wearing a wedding dress" when I got them. Chances are, if I ever do get married (IF), they will be visible. Do I care? Absolutely not. They are a part of me, I got them for a reason, and they are pretty. They aren't going anywhere.
And along those same lines...I have piercings. My ears are gauged to a 4 ga. Maybe once I grow up a little more I'll take them out and let them close a little. They won't ever close all the way, and that is a choice I made when I was younger. I have piercings in my ears, nose, tongue...that's it. For the time being, they are all staying where they are.
My schedule...hectic. I have bills to pay, and I do like going out and having fun. My class/clinical schedule doesn't allow for much leniency, I work long hours, and I like to relax and unwind at the end of the day. I do like curling up on the couch and watching TV or a movie, but I am sleep deprived (doctor told me so), so the chances of me falling asleep are high. If that is a problem, then I can just go to sleep, however, when I get home from work, that is what I do. Also, I work certain events every year. Some of them I enjoy working because of the type of event, others I'm expected to be there by the event organizers because of my experience working said event. I'm not going to pass these up. In addition, I'm a pretty good babysitter, and spend a lot of my evenings watching little ones for people I work with. I used to consider it practice, but now I just do it because I enjoy it.
I do make time, but until I am in the position where I have a career and a set schedule, I have to work extra to get all my bases covered.
A relationship is about being there for the other person. I know that there were times I failed at this, but this was another issue...my dad is great, but his health is not. There have been times when I've gotten a phone call and had to leave Baltimore with short notice. My brothers and I have banded together and help out where we can, but the thing is that until my brother is back from overseas, it's just me and Mike, and I'm not putting all the medical issues on him. It's not fair. If something happens, I don't need someone there by my side (though it is nice), I just need to know that if I need something taken care of while I'm out of town, that person will be there to help.
On that note...yeah I really like to do things myself. I think someone put it best when he said "Be helpful when the situation arises, but don't try to force the situation to occur." I'm so used to doing everything on my own, I really don't know when to ask for help. I just make it happen.
I do have strong opinions about some things, but with most things on a daily basis I'm pretty laid back. I still stand by what I said a year ago...if I can do something about it, great. If not, don't dwell on the issue. Move on to something productive.
My family is very important to me. My brother Mike is one of my best friends. Also, my brothers have a bunch of friends that I consider brothers. We hang out, we laugh, we play games, we drink. We have a blast. I have gone out in the middle of the night to help my brothers when they call. It happens...and I guess I'm like a big sister to them all.
My family is also very protective of me. My dad, mom, Dave, and Mike...and all the other brothers. I don't know why...I can handle myself, but they still want to show their force.
I was so close last night to just packing up and leaving. Thanks to a friend for being there and telling me not to let my head hang low. Yes I have made mistakes. Yes there are things I am not proud of. I have to live with them. Unfortunately, some people choose to talk about others and their personal business to take the attention away from their own issues.
Am I ready to be in a relationship again? Absolutely not. Do I want to be in a relationship again? Not really. I won't lie...I've been hurt. I've been broken down....destroyed. I have nothing left to offer anyone, only bits and pieces of what used to be. Hanging out, enjoying myself...I'll do that. I am focusing on school at this point, and once I finish class, who knows what that will bring.
I know that there's more to say, but it's late, and I'm going to try for more sleep while I have the opportunity.
More to come after the weekend.
First off, where I went wrong. I know I did not communicate well enough, and I know I didn't appreciate enough of the little things. I expected too much...I know I expressed my disappointment with things plenty of times when I did not acknowledge the little things that were being done on a daily basis.
Some people say relationships are about "give and take." I think that is wrong. Relationships should be about giving and sharing. When you say that a relationship is about give and take, it puts the wrong idea in people's heads. It's not about what you give to/do for me and what I give to/do for you. It's about appreciating the other person on a daily basis. It's not about material things, giving gifts, etc...sure, those things are nice, but not necessary. It is not about what you give to me and what I take and vice versa. That's not a relationship. What is more important to me is being respected and treated like a human being.
I am not a doll. I am who I am, and that is not going to change. I like the person I am now. I think I'm pretty darn cool. I understand some guys like certain things, certain clothes...I'm really not a person to wear pink. I think I own three pink things...now, anyways. I'm more in favor of the neutral colors, and will occasionally wear red (for hockey, of course).
Not many guys mind the hockey thing. Yes, I am a Caps fan. I'm also a Skins fan (I know, I know). I don't really follow football much or baseball.
I have tattoos...nine of them, in fact. I want more. Yes, I have tattoos on my upper back and shoulders. No, I did not think of "wearing a wedding dress" when I got them. Chances are, if I ever do get married (IF), they will be visible. Do I care? Absolutely not. They are a part of me, I got them for a reason, and they are pretty. They aren't going anywhere.
And along those same lines...I have piercings. My ears are gauged to a 4 ga. Maybe once I grow up a little more I'll take them out and let them close a little. They won't ever close all the way, and that is a choice I made when I was younger. I have piercings in my ears, nose, tongue...that's it. For the time being, they are all staying where they are.
My schedule...hectic. I have bills to pay, and I do like going out and having fun. My class/clinical schedule doesn't allow for much leniency, I work long hours, and I like to relax and unwind at the end of the day. I do like curling up on the couch and watching TV or a movie, but I am sleep deprived (doctor told me so), so the chances of me falling asleep are high. If that is a problem, then I can just go to sleep, however, when I get home from work, that is what I do. Also, I work certain events every year. Some of them I enjoy working because of the type of event, others I'm expected to be there by the event organizers because of my experience working said event. I'm not going to pass these up. In addition, I'm a pretty good babysitter, and spend a lot of my evenings watching little ones for people I work with. I used to consider it practice, but now I just do it because I enjoy it.
I do make time, but until I am in the position where I have a career and a set schedule, I have to work extra to get all my bases covered.
A relationship is about being there for the other person. I know that there were times I failed at this, but this was another issue...my dad is great, but his health is not. There have been times when I've gotten a phone call and had to leave Baltimore with short notice. My brothers and I have banded together and help out where we can, but the thing is that until my brother is back from overseas, it's just me and Mike, and I'm not putting all the medical issues on him. It's not fair. If something happens, I don't need someone there by my side (though it is nice), I just need to know that if I need something taken care of while I'm out of town, that person will be there to help.
On that note...yeah I really like to do things myself. I think someone put it best when he said "Be helpful when the situation arises, but don't try to force the situation to occur." I'm so used to doing everything on my own, I really don't know when to ask for help. I just make it happen.
I do have strong opinions about some things, but with most things on a daily basis I'm pretty laid back. I still stand by what I said a year ago...if I can do something about it, great. If not, don't dwell on the issue. Move on to something productive.
My family is very important to me. My brother Mike is one of my best friends. Also, my brothers have a bunch of friends that I consider brothers. We hang out, we laugh, we play games, we drink. We have a blast. I have gone out in the middle of the night to help my brothers when they call. It happens...and I guess I'm like a big sister to them all.
My family is also very protective of me. My dad, mom, Dave, and Mike...and all the other brothers. I don't know why...I can handle myself, but they still want to show their force.
I was so close last night to just packing up and leaving. Thanks to a friend for being there and telling me not to let my head hang low. Yes I have made mistakes. Yes there are things I am not proud of. I have to live with them. Unfortunately, some people choose to talk about others and their personal business to take the attention away from their own issues.
Am I ready to be in a relationship again? Absolutely not. Do I want to be in a relationship again? Not really. I won't lie...I've been hurt. I've been broken down....destroyed. I have nothing left to offer anyone, only bits and pieces of what used to be. Hanging out, enjoying myself...I'll do that. I am focusing on school at this point, and once I finish class, who knows what that will bring.
I know that there's more to say, but it's late, and I'm going to try for more sleep while I have the opportunity.
More to come after the weekend.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sumtimes...
What I excel in best
Is my excessiveness
Self deprecation
I hate myself sometimes
How can I be down when all that I want is in my reach
What's wrong with me?
Fuck it
Sumtimes I can feel so touch and go
Sumtimes as my self esteem is low
Sumtimes...at least I know sumtimes I'm beautiful
Beautiful
And if I wasn’t me
I’d still just laugh at me
And point the finger
And blame myself as well
I will not succumb to any of my peers
I’m in control
and I'm losing it
Fuck it
Sumtimes I can feel so touch and go
Sumtimes as my self esteem is low
Sumtimes…well at least I know sumtimes I’m beautiful
Beautiful
Sumtimes as my feelings coincide
Sumtimes while I struggle to survive
Sumtimes…well at least I know sumtimes I’ll be alright
Be alright
Is my excessiveness
Self deprecation
I hate myself sometimes
How can I be down when all that I want is in my reach
What's wrong with me?
Fuck it
Sumtimes I can feel so touch and go
Sumtimes as my self esteem is low
Sumtimes...at least I know sumtimes I'm beautiful
Beautiful
And if I wasn’t me
I’d still just laugh at me
And point the finger
And blame myself as well
I will not succumb to any of my peers
I’m in control
and I'm losing it
Fuck it
Sumtimes I can feel so touch and go
Sumtimes as my self esteem is low
Sumtimes…well at least I know sumtimes I’m beautiful
Beautiful
Sumtimes as my feelings coincide
Sumtimes while I struggle to survive
Sumtimes…well at least I know sumtimes I’ll be alright
Be alright
Thursday, November 17, 2011
This has to be said...
Alright, now you all know that Chris and I ended our relationship. This happened around the middle of October. I have some things I need to say to clear the air and clear up any misconceptions about either party.
Anything I said in regards to Chris and I arguing or him yelling at me was a lie. Such events never took place. I only spoke of them to make myself look better in the relationship when I was failing to be a good girlfriend. He did not yell. We did not waste time with arguments. They never happened, and I'm sorry to anyone that may have heard these lies from myself or someone else. It was wrong of me to "air our dirty laundry," even though it was, in fact, a fallacy. He did many wonderful things for me, took me on short getaways and even sent and brought me things at work, just to show he was grateful and thinking about me. I did no such things for him. I never really appreciated anything he did for me, and I did nothing to show him how much I cared. The relationship ended because I did not have time to put forth the effort to make this work...or, more accurately, I could not manage my time well enough to make the relationship work, and I took him for granted. I should have learned my lesson by now, given the fact that I have destroyed three relationships in a year. And, in doing so, I have destroyed three wonderful men as well. I am deeply, truly sorry for that. I know nothing I can say or do can fix the damage I have done, and this is by no means meant to attempt that. This is just me, in front of you, apologizing for the lies and trying to clear the good name of a wonderful person and a fantastic paramedic. Thank you all for your time and patience with me on this matter.
Again, I am extremely sorry for the false information I provided, and for any pain I may have caused anyone as a result.
Anything I said in regards to Chris and I arguing or him yelling at me was a lie. Such events never took place. I only spoke of them to make myself look better in the relationship when I was failing to be a good girlfriend. He did not yell. We did not waste time with arguments. They never happened, and I'm sorry to anyone that may have heard these lies from myself or someone else. It was wrong of me to "air our dirty laundry," even though it was, in fact, a fallacy. He did many wonderful things for me, took me on short getaways and even sent and brought me things at work, just to show he was grateful and thinking about me. I did no such things for him. I never really appreciated anything he did for me, and I did nothing to show him how much I cared. The relationship ended because I did not have time to put forth the effort to make this work...or, more accurately, I could not manage my time well enough to make the relationship work, and I took him for granted. I should have learned my lesson by now, given the fact that I have destroyed three relationships in a year. And, in doing so, I have destroyed three wonderful men as well. I am deeply, truly sorry for that. I know nothing I can say or do can fix the damage I have done, and this is by no means meant to attempt that. This is just me, in front of you, apologizing for the lies and trying to clear the good name of a wonderful person and a fantastic paramedic. Thank you all for your time and patience with me on this matter.
Again, I am extremely sorry for the false information I provided, and for any pain I may have caused anyone as a result.
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