The last post was about reflecting on the last year. I've done quite a bit of looking back lately. Not saying I want to go back and change anything, just saying I'm looking over things. These last two days, I've realized I have a hell of a lot to be thankful for.
A year ago I was in a completely different place. Details aside, I had a lot of things going on. Bottom line, I needed to grow up and move on, no matter what was said or done before Christmas. That I have most certainly done. :) Have I forgotten? Absolutely not. We save our memories and learn from our mistakes...I think I've said this before...
Given everything that has transpired over the last year, before I make any resolutions, I figure I should look at the positive things...here goes nothing!
I'm thankful first for my family...including all my non-biological brothers and sisters. My brothers have been there for me more than anything over the last year (I am grateful for my sisters, new and old). It seemed like any time I stumbled, my brothers were there with hugs and drinks and offers to beat someone up. I love them. Especially with the last one...hell my brother is threatening him from another country and others are ready to stake out at my apartment, daring him to come by (my dad still wants to break his arms and legs)...I suppose that should be a warning to anyone that wants to take me out on a date, huh (seriously you won't treat me badly so you have nothing to worry about...relax). My mom has been my voice of reason and reassurance...assuring me that it will get better, I will move past this, and these are just minor setbacks. My brother Dave supporting me no matter what and being there for me when the shit hits the fan...and encouraging me to take more control over my life. My brother Mike...coming up with the funniest yet most simple (not in a bad way) nicknames for the guys I have dated...he has kept me laughing through the tears. My aunt who helped me regain the confidence I lost...I don't know what I would have done without my family this year.
My friends...old and new. you guys (for the most part) have stood beside me no matter what...through some pretty poor decisions and through some of the best times ever. I am so grateful to have people like you in my life. I really can't say it enough. I could go over every last detail...the nights staying up texting, the trips to the bar to vent, the comments here and on Facebook...I don't know how I'd be here without you all. Luby for taking a trip with me one night and playing bodyguard, Francischelli for helping me change my life and get motivated to get healthy, Sean Myers for motivating me to quit smoking (5 months free and over $1000 saved!), Tommy for being there for me at every turn, Ms. Whipps for being a wonderful wife, Ben and El and Andy for helping me move all my crap from the house, City 9 for all the lessons and experience, Moon and Jersey for jumping up to help me with stuff at the station, Heather for always being my voice of confidence and helping me in more ways than she ever knows, 5C for being there for me recently (and the sweet setup!), 5 B&D for always being there...I would take the time to acknowledge you all personally, but this blog would go on forever. You all know who you are and what you have done. If I haven't said it before...thank you.
My roommate...thank you. Hell I might still be living at the station if it weren't for you. Thanks for bearing with me and my hellish schedule. I know we never see each other, but I sincerely thank you for helping me out when I really needed it and for the advice you have given me over the last few weeks.
My new friend Jordan...I'm not sure if you fully understand how great of a person you are. You have so much to offer, and have a great future in EMS. I look forward to helping you achieve your goals, and I thank you for playing "middle man" and helping me out recently. You are a wonderful and amazing person...don't ever let anyone tell you differently or treat you substandard. You deserve nothing but the best.
My coworkers...I haven't been completely there this past year. I've been distracted by others...and thank you for working with me on my schedule with clinicals.
To those that I have been out with here and there...thanks for the fun times. I'm very grateful for the times we have had. You all are dear to me, but with everything that has occurred in the last year, I'm being super cautious. And from what my brother Mike just said (literally), he has to approve of any guy that I'm talking to. And Anthony has to second it. Hate to say it but this may be hard...though Anthony says anyone who buys him drinks is good in his book (after what he said about my ex I wouldn't believe it though).
And to that one person who makes me light up...we still have a long way to go, but at least you've finally opened up. :) I can't wait til we can hang out again. I'm grateful for the time we have spent together, how you have opened up, and look forward to the time we will spend together in the future.
I'm not going to be introducing anyone to my family...they've been through enough with the last two. Of course, anyone that wants to date me has to go through my brothers first...not really my choice, but you can understand they have become quite protective over me after the last one. I know I have a say in this, but I'm going to leave this up to them...Also, I don't have to hear from them if things go awry. For their protection and oversight, I am grateful.
There are many more things, especially the little things, that I am grateful for on a daily basis. I don't take anything for granted anymore...life is way too precious and even though we may not seem this way initially...we are all fragile. The appreciation of the human frailty and condition...something that does not come naturally, but with experience. :)
Til next time kiddies...
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